Lesbian Videos:

editor’s note: this review is for Cream of the Crop 4, 8 and 12.

My DVD player is on my computer. Wash your hands after you touch my keyboard.

To tell the truth, when Clyde assigned these movies to me, I was pretty excited. I’m down with creampies.

Some men say that it’s all pink in the dark. If that’s true, then for God’s sake turn the motherfucking lights off before filming starts on the next Cream of the Crop movie. There was not a single woman I’d touch with YOUR dick, much less mine, in all three of these films.

This is crazy, real sex with ugly people. I guess if I was in a different mood, these would have been just what the doctor ordered. But every time I had to see one of these Skank’s faces or ground-beef-in-saran wrap-legs, my hard-on turned into a hard-off.

The cream pies were good though, so I can’t complain TOO much I guess.

And you cannot know my relief when, in episode 8, the box text turns out to be false. The back cover of this movie advertises a “he/she” “she-male”, and instead delivers a 6-foot something woman who just has a mannish face. So that’s another good thing about these movies.

If you’re down with nut butter being put in any available hole, even the ugly vajagged ones, this movie is for you.

Unfortunately, bags aren’t my bag, man, and I my journalistic integrity would be severely compromised if I gave any of these more than 2 rancho stars.

But I feel justified in giving all three movies 4 sperm week stars. This is, after all, a spermy stack of smut.

IT’S YOUR WIFE
The sex is all pretty standard, but if yr looking for gonzo porn that throws in some dopey laughs, then you’ll dig this.

PUSSY PARTY VOL. 1, ISSUE 4
Kind of a weird way to shoot porn. As with all of ‘em, it’s a ‘contest’. I won’t give away the winner, but even ...

BUSH HUNTER VOL 2
.. 2) With a biracial man, Barack Obama, running for president, so many awesome biracial performers in Hollywood, and Martin Luther King Day a national holiday, ...

SEXZ LATINAS
At least I think it was. Isabella saying "Si, mommy" to Xana while she nuzzled her tits was too much for me; I was ...

ALL INTERNAL 7
Nasty fucking scene. Kyra teases us while a guy thumb fucks her ass. He does the milk squirted up the ass trick again. She uncovers ...