Lesbian Videos:

SIPPING SEMEN IN SEATTLE

As a native of Seattle, trepidation ran high as to whether or not any of my past, uh, romantic interests were featured performers in this hand-held video cam spooge jamboree. Sipping Semen in Seattle does indeed take place in seedy Seattle, though not with anyone I’d admit to knowing.

A series of thrown-together sketches provides the storyline, and producer/cameraman/stunt penis Rodney Moore, puts his wench wrench to practiced use.

He happens upon a young girl who invites Rodney back to her apartment to make a porno. Lucky for him, she has all the lights and props. In true Northwest fashion, this "organic" chick sports the hairiest legs and armpits this side of Bigfoot, but it was her abundant crotch curls that looked more like Washington’s Olympic National Forest. After Rodney drops his fun fertilizer into a champagne glass, he has the hirsute honey drink, gargle, then spit it back out into the container which he then drizzles all over her Brillo pad pits. Another gal takes such a face-full of double love goop she looks like she was hit with a lemon chiffon pie. This scene might have made more sense had she been wearing a clown outfit.

Barely a moan of passion or grunt of hump excitement, the rented receptacles display about as much sexual emotion as my ex-girlfriends. The video’s high point comes (no pun intended) when a shrill pussy fart squawks free during "screw the trespassing braless jogger in the woods" vignette.

The most remarkable aspect of Moore’s escapades is how he manages to keep his Sears Super 8 camera in focus, the lighting just right, and the lens fog-free while taking care of business. The girls are boring and barely attractive enough to generate redwood, but you’ll get a kick out of Rodney’s darkroom skills.

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