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Decadent Divas 13 by Feline Films/Legend provides a hodgepodge of fetish action – everything from boot-licking to dildos to tight vinyl domination gear – during its four scenes. Four scenes? Yupe, only four – at least one shy of a full evening of onscreen debauchery, though the DVD does run 90 minutes long. Just to be blunt and talk about all the low-points first, we’ll continue with the negatives. The sound is shit. The sort-of funny background music isn’t just background music here.

It’s four times as loud as the voices of the pornstars. Not that they’re saying much of interest, but even at full volume I could barely hear anything that was being said. Definitely some better technology required in the sound department! Sadder still are the states of the “divas” in Decadent Divas. These are ladies that should never see the light of day and this title has them out baking in the sun, their pancake make-up dripping over their monstrous pores and poorly shaved crotches. These are girls with nothing to offer but their ludicrous boobs and collagen clown faces. But what can you do?

Amber Michaels and Angelica Sin pretend their breasts are bumper cars as they lick each others feet on a sunny patio. Foot fetish folks will be happier with this movie than the rest of us, I think, as there are some pretty lengthy sole-lapping passages in almost every scene. Sweaty Amber takes two dildos in the slop-box for a grand finale. Nearby there’s a cool blue pool. I kept hoping the ladies would just jump in and cool off. There’s nothing worse than shiny sun-damaged faces. The shelf-life of the California whore is unfortunately quite short. Next Katrina Rosebud (now THAT’S a dumb name) and Dru Barrymore heat up a shaded alcove. This is probably your best bet for a boner out the four scenes. Dru looks a bit like Drew (which helps) as she whips Katrina’s swollen clit and labes from pink to red to purple. More foot-licking. Then, after Dru impressively fakes an orgasm on a shared double dildo, she straps on a strap-on and works Katrina into weak-kneed submission.

The third scene sees Kelsey take a dildo in the vag and one in the ass while Lana and Sana Fey inexpertly work these toys around. Yupe, more boot-licking and some vinyl outfits sported by girls fighting at the bottom of the porn chain. But yeah, the big red dildo in the ass was alright. Finally mildly retarded Kianna battles mannish Alex Foxe on a couch. At least they get some air-conditioning! Kianna fucks a purple dong while Alex sits there and, well, looks like a man.

Thought not completely without merit, Decadent Divas 13 falls a little short of what you want in a quality porn. Another scene might have moved this one to a three. Just filming it at night might have helped too, instead of shooting these melting bimbos out in the sun on a hot California (or Floridian?) afternoon.

Bonus features inculde a photo gallery, a Behind the Scenes feature, Biographies, and Sub-chapter selection.

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