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FREE JANINE

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Not too bad, not too bad. After watching hours upon hours of super hardcore gonzo pornography while eating luetefisk I feared I would never again be able to return to the mainstream likes of Vivid. But Free Janine, aside from the senseless title, wasn’t bad at all. The main feature is prehaps a little short, but Vivid gives you 4 bonus scenes to tenderize your meat with as well as the option of dividing the movie up into fetish rooms. So. Free Janine’s story has to do with Janine who’s being stalked by a stalker.

The stalker is Ian Daniels who makes a good stalker, don’t he? That’s the story. Here’s the sex:

The movie starts out with a fantastic lesbian scene with Janine, Keri Windsor and another blonde who may be Daisy Chain or Anatastia Blue (sorry, I do more with my time than research porn star bios). It’s a sloppy feeding frenzy of oozy twats. There’s cunninglingus and frigging as well as some dildo action. At one point, one of the girls has a dildo in her slot and two finger way up her ass. It’s enough to make you want to get up out of bed in the morning.

Tony Tedschi is in this movie a lot. And he has long hippy hair. So, if you’re afraid of Tony with long hair steer as far away as you can. Steer yourself to Canada. The second scene finds Tony screwing a blonde I believe is Renee LaRue (sorry). She’s not particularly hot, but the doggy-stylin’ is hard and a good example of fine copulation. Way to go! Soon after Tony get his balls licked into a slimely pile by yet another blonde and then they’re off to some hard-rocking fucking accompanied by some hard rocking music that is so loud it may detract a little from the show. But I always bitch about the music and all the music in Free Janine, while loud, is extremely good for a porno. A plus on the music.

The fourth scene is a bit of a cop-out – not really much of a scene at all. Ian jerks off onto a girl who is holding a black and white photograph of another girl’s face over her face. Get it? It has something to do with Janine. Fucking weirdos. And lastly, there’s a final lesbian scene starring two chicks on a table. You’ll get dildo DP action that’s good enough to make you want to jerk off AND go have a bowel movement.

The movie ends in a bloody conclusion. Hahaha. Yeah.

So, I rate this one a 3.5. I’m going to round it down to a 3 even though I think most of the sex scenes were above average. There just weren’t enough scenes when you subtract that weird jerk-off part. The bonus scenes help, but they feel like a crutch for main feature.




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