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“There’s a bomb on the bus!”. Thank you, Keanu Reeves, for that little monosyllabic nugget of non-truth. Mainstream flicks ask us to suspend our disbelief all the time, so why not p0rn? Plenty of titles have names like Anal Virgins, Barely Legal College Girls, even Teenage Spermsuckingdoubleanaleurowhoresaholics (the German version). If I’m gonna suspend my disbelief, let me hang it next to the nail that my shorts go on when I enter my p0rn dungeon to whack off.

I just don’t want to see things I didn’t pay to see, like old German people getting gangbanged, with the Achs and the Oh Yahs…but then who cares, anyway, you probably got that flick for free anyway.

Believe it or not, it’s not hard to believe that Nakia D’Alene is having her first BIG cock. It starts with these two guy trying to talk to her as she walks through some suburban dog walk, without a dog. Uh, yeah. She looks like a bad girl in a white top and cameltoe-revealing miniskirt and a tongue piercing, the kind who hangs out at low rent district video game joints and sucks off boys for 15 or 20 bucks a pop. She’s not-so-skinny-anymore, still got crooked teeth, and a really small a cup chest and she’s the reason I got this DVD. What can I say, she’s exactly my type of p0rn whore. In fact, I’ve seen her take on Talon in Natural Teen Nymphs 4, getting a walloping from his big dick in no fewer than 3 holes. Did they find her before her life of p0rn, or is Sledgehammer like losing you virginity all over again? I’d have to think the latter, because she puts on a very believable scene. First of all, a white blonde chick sitting in what looks like a rec room couch, between two dark brothas, is reason enough to suspect foul play. Then watching her tiny pale body in mish, trying to take one of these guys in her vag (better in slo mo, even) is like watching Holly Hunter in The Piano take on quasi-aborigine Harvey Keitel as she re-experiences what its like to be truly whole-vag fucked. Initially, she looks somewhat in pain, embarrassed and is trying to slow down this freight train of cock into her tiny vag with the big roast beef folds. Eventually, after she has lubed enough naturally, she seems to start enjoying it, and you know what they say about black, you can never go back. After getting double-teamed orally and vaginally, standing mish and then spoon anal while sucking Sledge. No faking that or when she takes a big squirting pop to the mouth and face from each, showing us that she’s a big girl now…with a really tight little girl pussy and worth every penny of my $15. Camerawork could be better and more varied though, but hey, when there’s a bomb on the bus, better get off while you can.

Then there’s this white hoochie mama, Krystal, that the same two black guys pick up in front of a liquor store. She ain’t too far from the real thing, hoop earrings and all. Probably no stranger to the brothas, either with them gap teeth and that fleshy booty and cute natural c cup grapefruits. She takes it mish and a bunch of other OMIGOD positions, smiling and moaning her way to the bank. RCG while sucking shows off this girl’s whorish soul, but you can’t hide that split cameltoe from the Sledge, either. Heads down doggie, puts her in a compromised position for the big drippy pop to the face. Nice!!

Brunette Crystal (not to be confused with Krystal, god, who thinks of these names) can be found at your local valley mall Carvel, in one of those white bodice tops and some kind of Zales earring thing going on. She looks nervous, maybe for the camera rather than the presence of two guys, white and black. She says she’s used to small dicks. And I’m used to girls who don’t put out, oh yeah, right! She has small b cups and a little tummy fat, a shaved vag that glows bright red, and nothing that would get in the way of you and a good yank. She takes on both guys pretty well, stuffing that tight muffin, including RCG with oral and spoon oral and vag until the cumshot to the face, which is massive! Then she actually cries, putting her hand out to block the camera and gagging, when it all the sudden occurs to her: Yup, I’m doing p0rn, and my face is now a big cummy mess, preserved in digital for all my friends to see. Sometimes seeing a girl crying in porn is a wakeup call, which reminds you that maybe some things that can’t be faked, actually are very real to someone else. I hope she leaves the biz, like so many smart girls before her.

After that moment of truth, watching a plain looking Lisa do two black guys, with her tats and fake breasts, just didn’t suspend my disbelief anymore, upon which my shorts went back on. One day, her scene will interest me, but only when p0rn doesn’t. I gave it 2 kleenexes for the good talent and maybe three, if there were a couple more scenes to climb out of my dungeon of suspended disbelief.

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