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Porn films described as “couples-friendly” used to be designed for viewing by couples at home who were just looking for a little warm-up to their nocturnal games. Now, every director in the industry is trying to make the next “Casablanca,” complete with extensive dialogue, plot twists, and even mystery. Personally, if I’m snuggling up to my lady looking for a turn-on, I don’t want to be wondering, “Why did that guy say that?”

Case in point – “Identities.

” This is a decent flick with pretty hot sex, but the plot gets in the way of the action and diverts one’s attention. There are some better-than-average female bodies in the cast, and the guys remain nothing more than stiff dicks (not trying to steal scenes by being, well, porn jerks). But there is so much going on and so many questions unanswered, I had a not-so-hard time watching (not a good thing).

As for the plot, suffice to say it’s a stormy night and several couples are forced to seek refuge in a scary-looking hotel with scarier-looking characters lurking about. Naturally, the first thing that comes into these folks’ minds is to fuck, not shudder. Strange! All the girls are blonde, with the exception of Red Heaven (billed as Pason). All look pretty good, despite having wet hair from the rain.

The sex is semi-hot, with Kelli Jensen doing the only anal. She and Brittany Skye take the only facials. Lara Lewis and Jamie Brooks have a decent lezout. Eric Masterson screws Red with a condom, the only one noticed in the flick. The constant lightning and thunder in the background took away the heat from some of the sex scenes.

Bottom line: If you like your sex tame and can get turned on while trying to solve a mystery, this one is for you.

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