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In Julian’s Seductions, Julian fucks everybody. Except even he ain’t got that much nut so Erik Everhard steps in to ride a grinning, tittied pummel horse for one scene. There’s really not much to describe as far as this flick goes. Five sex scenes. The girls are mostly hot. Julian’s got a shitty tat collection going. So do several of the girls. The fuck locations are the ubiqitous rooms of wealthy Californian homes, crappy wall art and all, that you’ve seen in a million other movies.

(I always wonder if the homeowners brag about it: “A porno was filmed here last week, man. Right fucking here.” Points to stain.)

What’s nice about this movie is that Julian actually does seduce the girls a wee bit before he makes them bob for his testicles. Monica walks the plank first. She’s a damn cute bunny with nice tits and feverish beaver. Julian fucks her like a dog. Animal reference alert. Anyway. Next, Julian seduces Lezley Zen with a real life little puppy. She gets buttery and spreads her squirrel for Julian’s hog. OK, I’m stopping now. This hump is a bit boring. Buffy and Erik have a better time of it in the third scene which finds Buffy playing tennis by herself in a plaid skirt (?). Erik lumbers up, kisses her and they fuck. Probably like toads, but I’ve never seen toads fuck. The action is good but with Erik at the helm of the SS Cuntwacker little is ever left undestroyed. Buffy keeps looking off-camera as though her mother was perched nearby, watching disapprovingly. Before she takes a dripping glop-shot she smiles at someone off to the left. Yupe, it’s her mom.

August and Julian fool around next. They both seem a little sedated (versus seduced). The vajayjay is clean and pretty but the action isn’t anything to unzip your zipper over. Save that bidness for the five scene – mostly because it’s the last and after that you’re on your own. Shyla Stylex attaches herself to Julian’s cock for some enthusiastic sucking and then they make dirty ditties in a variety of keys. And oops! Looks like Shyla put her pubic hair on crooked when she woke up that morning.

A solid movie. Nothing to rave about. But solid. It’ll do the trick.

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