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Like a six-pack of Schlitz, there ain’t a bad one in the bunch, and any one of New Girls in Town 2’s stunned tarts could easy cause you to pop a vein in your Hanes. They’re all pretty gosh darn cute, with the clean faces and shaven labes you just don’t find with career pornstars. All these girls will go on to become successful accountants or make-up counter ladies at Nordstroms; they’re just too young and too hot not to do something else. So, enjoy them in this video and pray to the Holy God of Flaming Ejaculations (in this case, Jonathan Morgan) that these lovelies will find permanent jobs on their backs and knees.

It’s one dumb slut after another and 19 year-old Jenna Haze leads the charge. Before the men move in with their elephant-sized protrusions, the girls are interviewed – a mockery of Miss America formality – about their sexuality, their sexual turn-ons, etc. etc. Sure, Jenna looks innocent enough, but she comes like a maniac with a vibrator (adorable, absolutely adorable) before taking a warm dick in her love canal. There’s something fascinating and pleasing about a girl ACTING like she thinks a pornstar acts. It’s like “Let’s pretend…I’m a pornstar and you’re going to fuck me and I’ll giggle and lick my lips!” Okay!

The next New Girls are from Australia: blonde Bobby Barrington and Little Jody. Despite the fact that they appear unamused by Jonathan’s lame jokes and the way his camera crew of drooling dorks move in like vultures for shots of the pink, both girls dole out decent blowjobs and get railed nicely. New Girls in Town 2’s sex scenes ain’t all that long, but I thought they were just right. I didn’t feel like the girls were being forced to suffer through bouts of unfair pounding in other words.

Further unamused is Tommi Rose, but she too takes a satisfying head-stabbing and vag-stretching and seems to enjoy it. Sandra Knight, a diva-cut platinum blonde, takes on Jenna Haze in an adlib lesbo scene next. Please Holy God of Flaming Ejaculations, let Jenna continue on into the world of adult entertainment, at least for a few years. She’ll make a hell of a stewardess or whatever, but my god, she’s a goddam sexual chipmunk on speed and I love her! The constant jokes from the peanut gallery of camera holders kinda spoil the mood that Jenna and Sandra ignite with a double dildo, but it’s all kinda fun too. Last up is Monica Sweetheart. She’s French. She doesn’t speak English. The guys ask her two questions, give up because they can’t understand her and then Jonathan fucks her.

If you’re as tired as me of baggy-titted crackwhore 40-year old pornstars who are falling apart on stage as they pretend to moan over grisly bored men, then check out New Girls in Town 2. Get a six of Schlitz too and while you’re at it, toast each one of these fine girls with a can!

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