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Sexy Dolls by Digital Sin was filmed in Montreal. Why I want to see a fifteen minute photo montague of Montreal’s street scenes while I’m waiting for hookers to get their coons skinned is beyond me. There’s sort of a plot – a couple of guys putting together this movie. Maybe they were even the guys that actually made this movie. Regardless, the wonders of subchapters helped me skip all the nonsense and cut striaght to the fucking.

For lack of any other ideas, I’m going to compare the five sluts in Sexy Dolls to well-known celebrities.

The first girl, Judy, resembles Britney Spears sans nose job. Or Mary-Kate-Ashley-Olsen if you squint and think uber-impure thoughts. Hmm, this is off to a great start. Guess I should read People more often. Anyway, the blonde tarts around on a stage (no tap dancing) and then three dudes satisfy her with their flesh-bat dances of love. All the guys in Sexy Dolls are clean, have sharp sideburns, and a tattoo here and there. They look like Backstreet Boys. They look gay. Guess this is what Montreal boys look like.

Scene two finds Lucy Lu, the girl who was in Charlie’s Angels (can you believe it!), rubbing around on a bondage boy toy who’s wearing some rubber gear. He has one ninny pierced. Come to think of it, so does Lucy. Come to think of it, so did Britney-Mary-Kate-Ashley. Eerie! Lucy’s cute and it’s Asian Fuck Amuk for minutes at a time. And she gets anal assasinated. You can’t beat that. But you can beat off to it. Next up, Gwen Stefani bangs two more boy bands outcasts on a blue bed. Nothing too stellar.

The fourth girl, and this is easy, looks an awful lot like Jennifer Lopez. Yum yum in my tum. Yes, she gets fucked by a clean little dude and damn, she looks lovely doing it. But just like the real J Lo she doesn’t take an anal hammering on screen. Finally, uh, a girl that looks like a Liv Tyler + That big amazon girl from Third Rock miscarriage grinds around on a couch with a dildo, and two more dildos (with sideburns! Tattoos!). Yupe, her pooper gets poo-pummeled.

Overall, a good fuck flick with above-average ladies and guys who look a bit queer, but at least they won’t scare your little man into submission.

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