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Private needs to do the world a favor and discontinue its Castings series. Number 2 is no better than the rest. Shot in 1994, over half of this flick’s 8 scenes are extremely grainy and shitty. I mean really grainy. Like whole wheat. The sound quality is correspondingly poor and the background music as dorky as the producers could muster. No subchapters add to the aggravation as you’re forced to pan through the awful translated interviews with the girls that start off every scene.

The girls are tired looking and stuck in their over-rogued 1980s glamour looks. They’re just a bunch of scared, ugly barmaids trying to get enough money to pay for their college educations. Maybe Private should give these ladies scholarships for their troubles, I don’t know.

The premise of this series is that it’s an inside look into the producing of Private’s magazine “Private.” So, about half of the scenes are actually photo-shoots. Believe me, a double penetration isn’t that great when the camera jockey is crowing “Hold it, hold it!” and moving in with the flash. The cumshots are no better and often we’re blasted with motor drive flash as the slop spurts out. Add to this the tired girls, crotchless panties (when’s the last time you saw some of those?!) and poor quality film and you’ve got yourself one limp dick.

A full box of Cheerios gives me a bigger boner than this stuff.

ALL SEX – NO TALK 2
There’s 9(!)scenes here, mostly fuck-and-suck stuff, with an array of tasty newbies and sorta-knowns. I especially dug the outdoor lezzy action with tattooed teenie ...

JESSICA’S JET SET
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FRESH NEW FACES 5
She is decent in the looks department and has braces (a bonus for this Perve). Jazmin and Avy Lee Roth show that they don’t ...

ALIEN LOVE FANTASY AND OTHER SEX TALES
The girls are aliens because they have Spock ears and wigs on. Justine Joli is super fine (and does look a little ...

SEED OF SEYMORE
This thing starts off with Seymore roaming around his mansion and discovering Mari Possa bangin' some hot big titted brunette with a strap ...