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So, you can’t afford to take your new wife on that tropical beach honeymoon? Well, get her the next best thing: Sunrise by Private Pictures. Oh, she may pretend to be disappointed but you’ll be able to sleep easy knowing that you found her the perfect gift.

I’m not totally BSing you. Out of all the 10,000 Private films, Sunrise (part two in the Tropical series) may be as likely a couples film as any of them. There’s plenty of oral, vaginal and anal sex but no DPs to scare away your better half.

Of course to get to the sex you’ll be forced to suffer through yet another utterly incomprehensible Private plot. Something about an island and a contest – think Pleasure Island with whores actually getting paid to be whores. I guarentee this plot sucked before they imported it and left all the actors and actresses with Private’s signature crappy English voice-overs (C’mon, Private. You want to play in the big leagues of American porn and we like your ladies – so how about making some English-first titles?). But you’ll live.

Most of the sex scenes involve water. Don’t get your control tops in bunchs though, fetish freaks, because we’re talking beaches, beaches, beaches. I once had a friend tell me that it’s really hard to have sex in a hot tub. After watching the first scene where a couple bangs bumpies half submerged in salt water, I can’t imagine the ocean is the best lube either. Sex scenes in Sunrise are mostly couples, a few group thrown in here and there – it’s all well shot with possibly more artsy long-distance-watching-people-fuck-a-mile-down-the-beach shots than your average porno. The sex didn’t seem as marathon as some Private features, but with seven scenes you probably won’t go away empty-handed.

Anyway, continuing with the Sex in Water theme hot box-cover girl Elza Brown slooshes water around with a boy in a large bathtub. Thirdly, three couples have anal sex in perfect tandem. It’s like a bunghole ballet. Dark-haired Sandra Key is there to make you pop your gravy. The next two scenes are couples on the beach. It gets slightly repetive but hopefully you’ve got your wife in a headlock on the inflatible sofa by now so you won’t notice. And the last two scenes take place on a yacht. You’ll get all sorts of sex, a little anal and a girl in see-through plastic panties. Everything’s clean and all the girlies are yummy.

Pretty good movie. I give it a 3. Decent porn though nothing off the chart as far as Private goes – they make some of the most carbon copy movies around so if you’ve seen a lot of their titles already you might want to jerk it to something else. Or, get it for your wife instead of that cruise to the Caribbean. She’ll love you.

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